Today I had a conversation with a woman who is interested in taking our upcoming teacher training. We had breakfast as I explained how the focus of our training will be about personal growth. I went on to give her an example of my own run in with growth, just yesterday. I explained my story of ranting at an AT&T agent and she said the situation reminded her of an important phrase she had learned during a customer service training, just "give 'em the pickle."
You see, AT&T had turned off our WiFi because we hadn't paid our bill. I was convinced we had (um…we hadn’t) and began to rant at the AT&T agent. Didn’t he know our daughter was doing e-learning!? Didn’t he know she couldn’t login to class!? The shriller I got, the calmer he got.
He used my name frequently and apologized profusely (of course, I should’ve been the one apologizing for being a nut case). He had given me a “pickle” which was simply listening to me. I did not pay for the pickle, I certainly didn’t deserve the pickle, but he gave it to me anyway. Eventually, I didn’t feel like yelling anymore. After what seemed like an hour, we were best buds. I apologized for yelling and losing my cool. He admitted times were tough and it was normal. He too, lost his cool over e-learning. His daughter was ten. It seemed we were in the same boat. I asked him where he was from. He replied, the Philippines. I pondered this. It was 2am for him. Yet I was the one complaining.
I did a little research on my new favorite phrase. Bob Farrell, a successful restauratuer and public speaker, coined the term, 'give 'em the pickle'. In other words, a gesture of kindness. Farrell wanted his customers to walk away happier than when they came. His mission...to serve others. The olive branch, the AT&T customer agent extended to me, was all it took to melt the ice between us, the ocean between us. Suddenly, we were on the same side. Experiencing the same struggle, together.
I wish I could say I regret reacting poorly, but I don’t. Because I was reminded of a valuable lesson, or two, to be kind over being right and the power of equanimity (and the best phrase ever). This lovely person, who extended his humanity to me, can feel good at the end of the day (or morning) for, excuse the pun, remaining calm as a cucumber.