Today, while playing tennis with my husband, I noticed a father come onto the court, next to us, with his two small children. When I say small, I mean small. The tennis racquet they carried between them was as big as they were.
I was six years old when I played my first tournament. I remember my coach trying to explain how to keep score minutes before I went onto the court. Nervous, with a hundred eyes on me (okay maybe ten), I felt like a real tennis player. Until I had an opportunity for an overhead shot, which I completely missed. The spectators laughed and I felt utterly ashamed. What had been fun, suddenly became not fun. I had, in earnest, attempted a tricky shot and it ended badly. Not because I had missed the shot completely, but because I felt humiliated. I am sure not a single parent meant to offend me, nor my coach, whom I adored. I was a beginner, but I had put pressure on myself to make a shot which was, excuse the pun, over my head.
I recently took the Science of Well-being Course (otherwise known as the Happiness Course) through Yale University, the most popular course in Yale history (600,000 downloads in March). While the course had many excellent tips, one of the tips was to keep a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. When I lead teacher trainings our first lecture is on maintaining a ‘beginner’s mind’ or a ‘growth mindset’. We discuss the perils of falling into expert mode and how, not only does it prevent us from learning, but it’s stressful.
As I continued to watch the father with his two kids, I marveled at how much fun they were having. The father was relaxed and his kids were joyful. After twenty minutes of running around the court, squealing with laughter, they left. Not a single tennis ball was hit. Instead the kids had run around on the tennis court with their racquet and a newfound love of the game. It seemed that was all their dad was teaching them that day, a love of the game. Maybe they’d be curious enough next outing to use the tennis racquet, and yet maybe they’d just run around laughing again.
By Jill Griffiths
200 hour teacher training coming February 2021!